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ЮМОРЕСКА

 

 

        

            Не вошла -  влетела! Я, стоя за прилавком  магазина, чуть не разинул рот. О… Это была настоящая «Мисс Россия»! Высокая, пышная,  розовая. Юбка, казалось, вот- вот лопнет под её прелестями, а за пазухой невозможно было удержать никакими средствами «дар Божий». Перси,  словно два футбольных мяча, выкатывались наружу.

 - Мне нужны тормоза на передок, - слёту молвила «Мисс», слегка задрав носик. Снова опешив, открыл рот, но барышня уже рожала следующую фразу:

-  Да чтоб шланги были покороче! - со знанием дела молвило это чудо.

 - А вы уверены в том, что  Вам нужны тормоза?   Вам очень идёт лететь вразнос, - сказал  я и, присев,  добавил:

- И зачем Вам короткие шланги?...  Всё должно быть в гармонии.

 Барышня, не уловив иронии, молвила:

- Короткие дольше служат, а длинные – то и дело ломаются и рвутся.

-Логично, - проронил я и стал выбирать шланги.

-А чему вы улыбаетесь? -   подозрительно спросила она, а в ответ услышала:

-Настроение хорошее, покупатели радуют, вот и улыбаюсь.

- Я слышала, что вы можете мне и отремонтировать передок ? - спросила, окончательно осмелев.

- А что именно в Вашем  «передке» нуждается в ремонте?

- Да все слабые места, - воскликнула девушка.

 Деваться было некуда:

-Что ж, ключи…

- Какие ещё ключи? - настороженно спросила барышня.

- Да от машины же, сейчас заедем в гараж, и из ямы посмотрим Ваш передок. 

Ключи, наконец-то,  нашлись. Они, естественно,  были в замке.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Что дальше? Дальше с удовольствием крутил грязные гайки и бесстыже смотрел вверх на её слабые места.

 
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